In memory of:
my magic mouse:
My beloved Sweetie, why did you leave me alone!?!? I thought we will spend so
much wonderful time together and now you are gone and I am so sad and still
crying. I will never forget you my sweet darling and forever you will have a place in my
white odd-eyed w 63
My Sweetie died
of an egressiv nephritis with resistent germs.
Sadly, there was no treatment to cure her.
The Story of Little Orange Boy
The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much run, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his mommy.
And she was crying.
He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he jumped into the shallow water, All that got him was wet and Mommy's image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.
"Is something wrong?"
The little orange boy turned around. A lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy sighed and walked out of the water.
"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's imge was coming back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't supposd to come here yet."
The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good. When she started to pet him and skritch under his chin where he liked, he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.
"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.
The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And daddy too."
"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."
"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he wa or how fast he was or how big he was getting.
"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose tears."
"No they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?
The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him feel safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his mommy
"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.
The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around. Cats - Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and OBie. Dogs too - Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a hamster named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.
She smiled at them and began:
A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.
The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of things - dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events.
"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome."
"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need.">
"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.
But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."
The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them."
So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.
Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came back to the Angel in Charge. "They know we love them," they told the angel. "But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return."
So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to love," the angel told them.
So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.
But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped loving us and left. They broke our hearts."
The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."
As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.
But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."
"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.
"Yes," the angel said.
"Will they stop lovng us?" someone else asked.
"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."
"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.
But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them. "you will have to feed these animals."
"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.
"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."
"We don't care."
The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the PETS were and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the animals' eyes.
"They wre not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."
But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little bodies and fining their hearts so filled with love that they thought they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.
"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."
The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."
The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen Tears," he whispered.
"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry."
The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.
"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."
"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.
She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."
She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your mommy cries, she is healing."
"It may take a long while, but the tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."
"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.
The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love again. That is all she will think about." She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.
"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"
The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready to leave his mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"
The kind lady nodded. "You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."
"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.
"I love you Mommy, he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced over at the others running and playing and laughing with the butterflies. "Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."
Then he turned and raced after the others.
ŠAnne Kolaczyk, February 5, 1998
my wonderful males:
Mimilein, I will never forget you and you will have
a place in my heart forever. You dear, nice and amazing
male. You have just been too good for this world!
Mimi passed away on May 17th 2006!
They say memories are golden well
maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you, a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly, In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again.
Due to his age and the fact that he passed away so peacefully without any preceded symptoms, an autopsy had been carried out on Mimi, and during the section a distinct hypertrophy of the left ventricular walls and of the interventricular septum had been noticed.
According to Professor Reinacher of the Giessen University hospital, this pathological result indicates the presence of a hypertrophic cardiomyopathy,
having resulted in heart failure and a circulatory collapse.
My second beloved pet after Nucha;-(...
My beloved Nemo
passed away on March 1st 2006.
I will never forget you, my Sweetie!
Do not stand at
my grave and weep
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that swiftly blow.
I am the diamond glint
on newly fallen snow.
I am the sunlight
on ripened grain.
I am the soft and gentle autumn rain.
When you wake from sleep in the early morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there.
I do not sleep.
("Native American Poem")
Right from the
beginning, my Sweety did not want to grow that much and had
difficulty in putting on weight. I tried everything to encourage him but I failed.
At the beginning of January, he suddenly suffered from severe diarrhoea and vomiting.
He was treated by my vet but somehow, he did not want to fully recover again.
We went to Hofheims veterinary clinic and there, a lymphoma was diagnosed,
causing a non-regenerative anaemia. We fought for two months, and yet we lost :-(.
Barney av Faröyar
My little star just live such a short time;-(
Lend me a kitten
to the poem "To All Parents",
by Edgar A. Guest (1881-1959))
I will lend to
you for a while a kitten, God said.
For you to love while he lives, and mourn when he's dead.
Maybe for twelve or fourteen years, or maybe two or three.
But will you, 'till I call him back,take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief,
you'll always have his memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn.
I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true,
And from the folk that crowds life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again?
And my heart replied, "My Lord, Thy Will Be Done."
For all the joys this kitten brings, the risk of grief I'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may.
And for the happiness that we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should you call him back much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand.
If by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve,
in memory of his sweet sweet love, please help us while we grieve.
When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife,
Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all his life.